so it was one thing to be driving in a popular national park with two other friends and seeing a bear cross the road in front of us, but yesterday was a whole different animal (pun intended!). yesterday, i was completely alone, 3 miles from my car on a remote-ish trail still covered in slush and snow and about to take bite #2 from a peanut butter sandwich, when a huge, black ball of fur appeared out of nowhere within 10 feet in front of me. my first encounter with an alaskan bear. i was instantly torn between childish delight, scientific fascination, and utter terror, and OF COURSE, the very first thing i do was text "SHIT BEAR OMG" to JS. which didn't help because i was being quiet as a mouse and the bear was now walking leisurely towards my sandwich (in hindsight, if i HAD to be stupid, i should take a picture instead of texting someone 10 miles away, because at least then i would be able to post the picture in this entry).
luckily, my brain started working at this point, and not seeing any rocks to throw at the bear, i quickly put the food away, stood up to my full, intimidating 5-foot-1 figure and started to make as much noise as i could by rattling my car keys and talking shit to the bear. for a few seconds and against all my bear-encounter knowledge, i considered turning around and running (terrible response) as fast as i could back uphill, but thank god the pure logistics of running anywhere in 2 feet of slushy snow prevented me from giving in to my flight impulse. thank god, as well, that the bear must have heard my valiant attempt at being intimidating, and began to retreat -- but if there ever was a reluctant retreat, this bear got it down. it must have turned around to eye the invisible food five times on it's way out before it finally disappeared down the hill. so i'd avoided a confrontation with a hungry bear, but now i must follow its track down hill for 3 miles to get back to the car. i was told by phone to keep being loud while hiking by "singing a song or something," so i ended up giving the bear a free concert of all the Brandi Carlile songs I knew before running into a big group of hikers coming up who had not seen the bear. i felt much, much better.
i never did see that big, black ball of fur again and later that night, i found a big bouquet of roses waiting on the windshield of my car, so "all's well that ends well," no?
Friday, May 13, 2011
Thursday, May 5, 2011
"and who are you? the mom?...are you in the same grade?" -- AKA lessons learned from the ER
for someone headed to spend a good portion of my upcoming years in a hospital, i have almost zero experience being a patient in one. the hazy 4am ER visit that lasted only a couple hours freshman year was really the only legitimate hospital experience.
last week, however, i had to take a client to the ER, and it was a new experience. i drove there thinking that i'd just let the doctors do whatever they had to do and just be supportive company for the client, but as soon as we stepped inside, i immediately became so protective of my client that i was ready to fight whomever was going to be less than perfectly friendly to my client. starting from the triage nurse, who couldn't believe that my client didn't know what "abdominal" meant ("Do you have abdominal pain?" "i don't know what that means" "ABDOMINAL? like, your belly?!"). I wanted to pull her aside and be like, "look, she's only 16 years old and probably hasn't even taken biology yet because of all the different schools she's been transferred to, so why don't you just try to pretend that you are not judging." but i didn't, because that would have been poor role modeling of communication skills.
then we got lucky and got a very nice nurse (the one who asked us "so are you both in school? are you in the same grade?"). she was the one who completely understood my client's fear of needles and coaxed her through the entire process effortlessly, and who also told me that the single most important thing in working in the medical field was making people comfortable and being able to still do so with all the craziness going on in a hospital -- making patients feel like the doctor had all time time in the world even when you only had 60 seconds. i told her she was doing such a great job with that. unlike the older male doctor who barged in later, obvious that he was in a huge hurry and was like, "so you are the patient, and who are you? the mom?" before i could even answer, he got pulled away again. he came back to confirm her medical history, saying, "so you have ADHD? is that why you are in a mental health treatment facility?" NO! that is NOT why, and how is that any of your business anyway? plus, do you really want to know the real reasons? how about rape, incest, physical abuse, paternal abandonment, maternal drug addiction and periodic homelessness? but my client handled it so well and just said, "no, i'm in treatment for a variety of reasons." way to go, girl.
THEN, the doctor wanted to do a rectal exam on her despite her protests told her dismissively that there weren't any female doctors around. at this point, i remembered one of my interviewers asking what i would do if a patient asked me to get him a doctor of his own gender. i remembered thinking that it was just one of those stereotypical scenarios that everyone always hears about but never ends up being a big deal. now i know just how big of a deal it could be. working in an environment where just the word "sex" could trigger a flashback of a rape, or witnessing a seizure could trigger flashbacks of mothers overdosing on crack, i'm getting very good at never assuming what anybody has gone through. after all, who am i to say, "just get over it," when a girl that may have been through hell and back doesn't want a male doctor poking around her area? everyone has their issues and i'm all about going out of one's comfort zone, but not at the expense of adding more trauma to the most vulnerable people in the world. the tricky thing is, sometimes you really can't tell who they are.
last week, however, i had to take a client to the ER, and it was a new experience. i drove there thinking that i'd just let the doctors do whatever they had to do and just be supportive company for the client, but as soon as we stepped inside, i immediately became so protective of my client that i was ready to fight whomever was going to be less than perfectly friendly to my client. starting from the triage nurse, who couldn't believe that my client didn't know what "abdominal" meant ("Do you have abdominal pain?" "i don't know what that means" "ABDOMINAL? like, your belly?!"). I wanted to pull her aside and be like, "look, she's only 16 years old and probably hasn't even taken biology yet because of all the different schools she's been transferred to, so why don't you just try to pretend that you are not judging." but i didn't, because that would have been poor role modeling of communication skills.
then we got lucky and got a very nice nurse (the one who asked us "so are you both in school? are you in the same grade?"). she was the one who completely understood my client's fear of needles and coaxed her through the entire process effortlessly, and who also told me that the single most important thing in working in the medical field was making people comfortable and being able to still do so with all the craziness going on in a hospital -- making patients feel like the doctor had all time time in the world even when you only had 60 seconds. i told her she was doing such a great job with that. unlike the older male doctor who barged in later, obvious that he was in a huge hurry and was like, "so you are the patient, and who are you? the mom?" before i could even answer, he got pulled away again. he came back to confirm her medical history, saying, "so you have ADHD? is that why you are in a mental health treatment facility?" NO! that is NOT why, and how is that any of your business anyway? plus, do you really want to know the real reasons? how about rape, incest, physical abuse, paternal abandonment, maternal drug addiction and periodic homelessness? but my client handled it so well and just said, "no, i'm in treatment for a variety of reasons." way to go, girl.
THEN, the doctor wanted to do a rectal exam on her despite her protests told her dismissively that there weren't any female doctors around. at this point, i remembered one of my interviewers asking what i would do if a patient asked me to get him a doctor of his own gender. i remembered thinking that it was just one of those stereotypical scenarios that everyone always hears about but never ends up being a big deal. now i know just how big of a deal it could be. working in an environment where just the word "sex" could trigger a flashback of a rape, or witnessing a seizure could trigger flashbacks of mothers overdosing on crack, i'm getting very good at never assuming what anybody has gone through. after all, who am i to say, "just get over it," when a girl that may have been through hell and back doesn't want a male doctor poking around her area? everyone has their issues and i'm all about going out of one's comfort zone, but not at the expense of adding more trauma to the most vulnerable people in the world. the tricky thing is, sometimes you really can't tell who they are.
Friday, April 15, 2011
"Jar of Hearts" cover!
maybe one of these days, i'll get my act together to actually play/record some of my own songs, but in the mean time, i'll procrastinate by covering Christina Perry's "Jar of Hearts," which is actually one of my favorites -- easy, angsty and lovely. enjoy!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
i want YOU...
here is my Official Travel Partner Wanted ad:
WANTED -- an adventure-seeking soul who wants to visit the highest peak in North America with me (and maybe cuddle with bears and moose along the way): Mt. McKinley in Denali National Park for a flexible number of days this summer. Preferably someone who enjoys the Great Outdoors, BUT no worries, we will NOT actually be climbing McKinley since it would be analogous to climbing Everest and gear alone would cost >$1000. but yeah, google-image Denali National Park and McKinley and i dare you to pass up this opportunity ;)
contact me for details :)
sneak preview (none of the following photos belong to me -- please don't sue!)
WANTED -- an adventure-seeking soul who wants to visit the highest peak in North America with me (and maybe cuddle with bears and moose along the way): Mt. McKinley in Denali National Park for a flexible number of days this summer. Preferably someone who enjoys the Great Outdoors, BUT no worries, we will NOT actually be climbing McKinley since it would be analogous to climbing Everest and gear alone would cost >$1000. but yeah, google-image Denali National Park and McKinley and i dare you to pass up this opportunity ;)
contact me for details :)
sneak preview (none of the following photos belong to me -- please don't sue!)
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| Sunrise in Denali. (c) Ron Niebrugge |
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| Bear cubs in Denali (c) Ron Niebrugge |
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| Hiking in Denali (c) WildNatureImages.com |
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
i swear i'm not that girl who can't live without a mall...
...but I MISS MY WARDROBE!
there, now that that's over with, i do want to elaborate a bit. three-quarters of my wardrobe -- and about 95% of my spring/summer clothes -- are in ann arbor, and i brought exactly 7 pieces of thick sweaters/jackets and 1 cardigan, just enough to fit into a medium-sized suitcase. it didn't help that the world was frozen solid when i left, and when it's january and 15F outside, spring somehow seems like a made-up bedtime story. so long story short, now that it's a balmy 45F out and people are busting out the flip-flops, i pretty much look inside my closet and say the all-too-familiar line, "i have nothing to wear" (but at least it's less of a lie now than it was before!)
so it's the perfect time to go shopping, right? wrong. i've made up my mind 2 weeks into juneau that i will try my hardest not to buy clothing here, because the the two places to shop are walmart and fred meyer (aka meijer), and before you know it, you're staring at the fugliest clothes you've ever seen and saying to yourself, "well, this one is the least hideous of them all, and it's only $20, so at least i could cover it up with a sweater..." and this is how you get sucked into buying fugly clothes that half the town will end up wearing. don't get me wrong, i've actually gotten cute clothes at walmart and meijer in michigan, but for some reason, i have yet to see a single piece of clothing here i would want to spend money on. the couple expensive downtown boutiques that my housemate took me to were definitely a few notches better, but the price tag made me miss target and forever 21 just that much more. oh, and american eagle and my dress-shopping trips with KE last summer. maybe i'll finally get over my phobia of buying clothes online and get just ONE skirt for the summer.
side note: if you are thinking about getting into shape for the summer and whatnot, the best trainer is a beagle. yes, those dogs can RUN. when you're only on Mile 0.6 and feeling like maybe you should stop very soon, those puppies will just be trotting besides you with such joyous nonchalance that you just won't be able to resist the strange desire to trot with them for the next 3.4 miles and end the run by racing to the front door. because of such experiences, i've concluded most of running really is psychological.
there, now that that's over with, i do want to elaborate a bit. three-quarters of my wardrobe -- and about 95% of my spring/summer clothes -- are in ann arbor, and i brought exactly 7 pieces of thick sweaters/jackets and 1 cardigan, just enough to fit into a medium-sized suitcase. it didn't help that the world was frozen solid when i left, and when it's january and 15F outside, spring somehow seems like a made-up bedtime story. so long story short, now that it's a balmy 45F out and people are busting out the flip-flops, i pretty much look inside my closet and say the all-too-familiar line, "i have nothing to wear" (but at least it's less of a lie now than it was before!)
so it's the perfect time to go shopping, right? wrong. i've made up my mind 2 weeks into juneau that i will try my hardest not to buy clothing here, because the the two places to shop are walmart and fred meyer (aka meijer), and before you know it, you're staring at the fugliest clothes you've ever seen and saying to yourself, "well, this one is the least hideous of them all, and it's only $20, so at least i could cover it up with a sweater..." and this is how you get sucked into buying fugly clothes that half the town will end up wearing. don't get me wrong, i've actually gotten cute clothes at walmart and meijer in michigan, but for some reason, i have yet to see a single piece of clothing here i would want to spend money on. the couple expensive downtown boutiques that my housemate took me to were definitely a few notches better, but the price tag made me miss target and forever 21 just that much more. oh, and american eagle and my dress-shopping trips with KE last summer. maybe i'll finally get over my phobia of buying clothes online and get just ONE skirt for the summer.
side note: if you are thinking about getting into shape for the summer and whatnot, the best trainer is a beagle. yes, those dogs can RUN. when you're only on Mile 0.6 and feeling like maybe you should stop very soon, those puppies will just be trotting besides you with such joyous nonchalance that you just won't be able to resist the strange desire to trot with them for the next 3.4 miles and end the run by racing to the front door. because of such experiences, i've concluded most of running really is psychological.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
we are told to keep an emotional distance from our clients, but it's pretty difficult when you spend 8 hours a day with 6 teenaged girls who love to start drama and yell to our face and say things like, "i don't mean be rude, but..." followed by something super rude. it's also difficult to keep that emotional distance when a client does so much better after the year in treatment and is now graduating from the program as successfully as can ever be expected. there's nothing like a graduation party to remind us why we are here in the first place, and because of their such infrequent nature, we are told to "cling" to these successes. trust me, i will -- the next time i'm being manipulatively lied to or ran away on.
also, whenever i have to get off from work at 10:30pm only to sleep and get up again at 7am to go back to work, i pretty much wish i wasn't alive. BUT now that the days are considerably longer, i'm starting to like the early shift days, because now i can easily get me some after-work meditation and music sessions by the ocean while the sun is setting. a pretty perfect way to end the day, i'd say.
also, whenever i have to get off from work at 10:30pm only to sleep and get up again at 7am to go back to work, i pretty much wish i wasn't alive. BUT now that the days are considerably longer, i'm starting to like the early shift days, because now i can easily get me some after-work meditation and music sessions by the ocean while the sun is setting. a pretty perfect way to end the day, i'd say.
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| My new album cover? "Caliente" thinks so! |
Friday, March 18, 2011
in the spirit of st. patrick's...
...i decided that i'd share with you all the fact that i've moved into the third place in juneau ("why do you move so much, are you like, on the run or something?" ~coworker)...and pictures of "my" new beagle puppies!
ok, not the best quality pictures, and i only managed to get pics of one of the two puppies, but they are the most adorable things and will rest their heads on your lap for hours and give you kisses on the lips.
but anyway, i spent this st. patrick's day hiking (of course), and hanging out with my new housemate (we saw "love and other drugs," which was actually pretty terrible, but that is another story), so i didn't get to drink anything green, BUT the following excerpt pretty much sums up how it's done in alaska:
"Colleen wanted to make margaritas— she’d schlepped all the necessary ingredients to our U.S. Forest Service cabin hidden in the woods along Shoup Bay just outside Valdez. But we’d been camping for days, spending the afternoons kayaking the bay, reading good books while tucked in our sleeping bags and talking by the campfire...
And we had no ice. You can’t have a good margarita without ice.
So, while gazing out at the hazy turquoise waters that lead to Shoup Glacier, we hatched a plan. The small icebergs bobbing in the water had been drifting within site of our camp, and they beckoned us to come put them to good use.
We climbed into our kayak, with a length of camp rope tied in a lasso, and approached the first piece of ice, clear as glass and about the size of a small cooler. The sun had melted the ice in the middle, so it formed a natural barbell with fat ends and a skinny center—perfect for capturing. Within a few tries, we had secured the ice and began hauling it back to camp. For the remainder of the trip we were able to chip away at that natural ice and enjoy our margaritas in style.
Now that’s what I call camping."
~"It's Better Outside" Alaska Magazine
ok, not the best quality pictures, and i only managed to get pics of one of the two puppies, but they are the most adorable things and will rest their heads on your lap for hours and give you kisses on the lips.
but anyway, i spent this st. patrick's day hiking (of course), and hanging out with my new housemate (we saw "love and other drugs," which was actually pretty terrible, but that is another story), so i didn't get to drink anything green, BUT the following excerpt pretty much sums up how it's done in alaska:
"Colleen wanted to make margaritas— she’d schlepped all the necessary ingredients to our U.S. Forest Service cabin hidden in the woods along Shoup Bay just outside Valdez. But we’d been camping for days, spending the afternoons kayaking the bay, reading good books while tucked in our sleeping bags and talking by the campfire...
And we had no ice. You can’t have a good margarita without ice.
So, while gazing out at the hazy turquoise waters that lead to Shoup Glacier, we hatched a plan. The small icebergs bobbing in the water had been drifting within site of our camp, and they beckoned us to come put them to good use.
We climbed into our kayak, with a length of camp rope tied in a lasso, and approached the first piece of ice, clear as glass and about the size of a small cooler. The sun had melted the ice in the middle, so it formed a natural barbell with fat ends and a skinny center—perfect for capturing. Within a few tries, we had secured the ice and began hauling it back to camp. For the remainder of the trip we were able to chip away at that natural ice and enjoy our margaritas in style.
Now that’s what I call camping."
~"It's Better Outside" Alaska Magazine
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